My first post!

well, never thot i'd ever blog! looks like its just another fact that i've realized about myself.. ya.. thats right! im in the phase of self realization! k.. i think thats too much of an exaggeration!
but i have this weird feeling.. looking at so many qualities in me that i've never seen before.. i hope there's a whole bunch of you out there who'd accept this!
i've always been a lonely person.. not that i didnt have anyone to take care of me.. i have a lovely mom, a coooool dad! and a ultra sweet brother! but one thing has always bothered me.. no one to call as my good friend.. those i've had, i was never able to decide if they were truly my friends or not.. i never was able to find that person, to whom i could say whatever i want to.. who'd understand me so perfectly.. just a perfect friend!
came across so many 'friends' did i.. till i met this guy in my 9th.. sai kiran (hey let me make myself clear.. im not a gay! neither is kiran!) we first met for our combined studies.. and slowly we became such thick friends.. so thick that we used to discuss about alllllll kinds of stuffF! i mean.. we shared such a nice understanding with each other.. everything from girl friends to sex! every damn topic.. i told him.. and so did he! we studied for our exams together.. the 10th board.. both of us did well.. and it was here that he also helped me out in my first 'love'!! i dont know if im justified in calling it one, comparing it with the more 'serious' relationships that i've had and have (ya.. supposedly!) but i just feeling like laughing when i think abt that 'love'!
anyway.. now kiran moved to a different school.. i continued in the same.. then new people.. new faces.. new crushes! it was good.. i enjoyed my life.. 11th and 12th were the parts of my life where i enjoyed my school life to the best! till then, being the first son, mom was a bit hesitant to sending me outside.. but then.. thanks to dad.. i got much more freedom in my 11th and more so in my 12th! i thought it was late then! but now i realize that i've got just the things i need at the right time! (i love my parents!).
there have been nights though.. when i cried myself to sleep.. one unforgettable night was the eve of my b'day! no one called me to wish me.. i didnt have such gr8 frnds.. but anyway.. you know.. i needed that feel good factor that some one really cares abt me! i just hate to see those groups which generally go around commenting.. cracking jokes n all..like crazy asses.. who earned all the attention.. not because they really deserved it.. not because i envied them; infact i had real good rapport with those guys.. they respected me n all.. but it was just that i felt it was all very fake. and i wasnt the only one who felt this way.. i had arnd 4 or 5 more frnds who felt the same way too.. that was consoling! we decided not to go for the farewell that was arranged for the batch.. we went for our own instead! we had a great time indeed! it was a really happy time then ! infact had i attended that farewell party, i probably would have repented for having gone there.. feeling like a stranger.. though i knew so many of them.. pretty well... that was all a great experience though!
12th was pathetic acads wise!till my boards though! i was my school 4th!no one believed that! neither my frnds.. nor my teachers! not myself either! my IIT and AIEEE were pathetic too.. and a 95 odd percentage was really soothing at this stage! and the place where i thought it was impossible for a CBSE student to get into was now within my reach.. BITS Pilani! i was really happy!
so here im! in BITS Pilani.. blogging.. 3 yrs since i came here. and blogging for the first time..